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Conundrums, Women, Maturity...

2014-12-23 23:27:12 by Seasons

Well I've been fooling around with this girl for a while, and I can tell she's waiting for us to begin an official relationship. I'd be up for it, but I can tell that she's much more into it than me. She's pretty decent looking but is a little annoying, and I'm not sure how long it would last. However, it's been a while since I've been in a legitimate relationship, and I could use the experience, as fucked up as it sounds to consider somebody as just being "practice."

Tonight, however, I finally got to fool around with somebody I've really liked for a while now. I know that this girl holds mutual feelings, and she really is quite a catch. Knowing my history, though, I'll likely mess up whatever next relationship I get into, and so I'm wondering if I should hold off on this one for a while until I'm ready.

I can either say fuck it to the first girl and just go for the gold, or stick around and play in the little leagues for a while before moving on to the majors.

OR I can just go back to jerking off and eating pizza bagels alone in my apartment.

I'm not a terrible person, and I've no intentions to hurt the first girl's feelings. She really does want a relationship though, and if I started one with her I would make my wariness clear; I'm not planning on playing her just for the sake of getting some 'practice' in, but I'm also not going to pretend like there wouldn't be some sort of ulterior motive or that there isn't another person I'm interested in.

If I was still 18, this wouldn't be a problem. I'd just blindly make a terrible decision, get laid a few times, and then be back where I started. I'm trying to handle this like a semi-responsible adult, but it's been so long since I've been in a relationship, I keep reverting back to default.

Related: I lost my virginity to the first track on this album when I was sixteen, and it's still one of my favorite tracks/albums/bands. Guess I'm still immature as fuck?



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2014-12-26 00:26:01

When in doubt, flip a coin.

My choice would be to go back to pizza bagels and jerking off. But I'm currently functioning under the mantra of 'spooky girls gonna steal hearts and rip them to shreds' so what would I know.

Seasons responds:

Flipping a coin is my usual go-to method.

I've pretty much decided on the pizza bagels thing, for now. Broke it off with the first girl, and now I'm just going to hang low and keep building up my friendship with the girl I really like.


2014-12-27 17:12:53

I hope you enjoyed 2014

Seasons responds:

I hope the same for you, and I hope you will enjoy 2015.

Also, who are you?


2015-01-07 21:17:09

I hope you've decided by now, two weeks later... but you obviously go for the woman you are interested in over the one you aren't. Assuming you'll fuck something up is a great way to ensure that you do.

Seasons responds:

You're a good man, Evark. You've got good character.

I essentially went with your advice. Broke it off with the girl I wasn't interested in, and am currently pursuing the gold. I'll let you know when I fail.


2015-01-10 13:40:05

I think there's something to be said for preparing for the worst, or acknowledging that things can go wrong. That being said, confidence obviously helps.

I too, wonder if you have decided yet. I've been having numerous dreams where I'm entwined romantically with a number of different girls. Be quiet, subconscious!

Seasons responds:

It seems I'm back to square one at this point.

After spending a bit more time with the girl who really liked me, I realized I wasn't going to be able to keep that going. I was going to stay with her for a while, but god damn, she was just too annoying and immature. It took quite a few tries for me to make it clear that I wasn't interested. Not sure if I was just being too subtle or if she's absolutely insane and desperate. Probably a mixture of both.

As for the girl I'm actually interested in, not much more has developed. Our intimate moment happened when she was in town for a few days, but now we're back to living in different cities. So now I'm just going to work on continuing to build our friendship. We're both on track to finish up school pretty soon, and there's a chance we'll both end up in the same place. I'm sure life will work itself out.

Now I'm back to the occasional one night stand with regrettably terrible women I've met at bars. One of the pros of living in a college town. I've also been masturbating and eating a lot of pizza bagels lately.